its pretty easy to tell god exactly what im thinking. he knows anyway so why would it be hard to just say it? we were created to communicate to communicate so whyt not? good or bad god wants to have a healthy communicating relationship. it may be hard for god to hear. i mean if i misinterperated stuff and am angry with god he may not like that but he will hear my complaint. or if i just tell him how hard it is on me right now and its whiny, so what. its a natural response. its crying out. to god!
dear god,
i dont know what to think about how your operationg. i know you work for the good, but theres a lot of bad going on. i also know it takes brokeness to be eligible for your repairs and work. i see you working in my friends lives opening doors for them. leading them in trials and you just showed me at camp your "plan" for me. not that im mocking but its so vague and somewhat discouraging. you are calling me to hang and follow you but i almost dont want to rely on you as much as it looks like i might have to. and then theres these opportunites that are scary. i want to jump for them. i want to run from them. i want absolute certainty! i dont like being in this half in situation. its potentially what i want and its definitely a big thing. but im no where near certain what to do. do i quit? do i not pilot at all? am i chasing money? am i looking for a way out? am i supposed to saty in? i dont know! tell me please oh god. leaps of faith are not my specialty. i dont even know if im supposed to leap. speak to me. speak up. why am i in control? take control god. give me authority. be my vision. my provider. my rest. so ill wait for your response. maybe ill move before i get it. maybe ill wait. help me be bold. give me strength.
amen,
dusty
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