Desire For Reconcilition

why should i hide from god if i know whats going on? why would i hide from god if i didnt know what was going on? sometimes i do. sometimes i say god you know whats what and i dontand i have faith to walk with you. your plan in the garden. your garden. entrusted to man (me). disobedient.
your plan in my life. entrusted to me. disobedient? maybe. do i know your plan? am i ignoring it? am i imagining it? am i scared? yes! scared to act. to seek. to step towards a youth pastor job. school? career!? location? in this knowledge (or lack of) i hide. i hear this lie, "thats not the plan for you"

comforted. to not be critical or condemning. maybe if adam became "like god" he was in a different plane of existance that he (god) was no longer sole overseer and therefore did not have the knowledge of where adam was. more practically he called out to adam the same he calls to us. to extend his love to us. to put pride aside (for surely we wont) and to offer to begin the healing process. i am most tempted to hide....when im upset with my dad (when im not respectfull of him) and when i am attacked (spiritually) concerning myself and rebekah. i am tempted to hide in alcohol and smoking. do i? not really but the thoughts scare me.

General Information

let it be known... this is a journal. more than likely anything i post here will just be copied from my journal im keeping with my devo. i dont care for grammer, punctuation, allignment, neat, organization. i write how i talk. i say some words differently. more than likely i write things the way i mean to. i dont type very well so that is where i attribute any typos although i do occasionaly mispell things i dont bother fixing them. whats the point? i have decided to leve my other blog up and viewable should anybody read this or care to look back a year and a hlaf ago. i feel its important to remember where ive come from, who ive been, and how it affected me. i probably will continue to post on that blog as well for more generalized things such as life. i dont have much figured out but this much i know, god has brought me here and here is where i will walk. this blog solo is for my devotional purpose to pursue god and his voice in my life. to keep myself encouraged and maybe encourage anyone else that god brings along this path. i will not explain myself. these posts are my journal entries. my devo book is in lectio devina style. which means......read,think,reread,pray,question,answer. that sort of thing. so my prayers will be posted, my answers to quetions will be posted, and my thoughts, i will not include quesions unless i did for my personall purposes. if you are reading this just know that. plus my thoughts are pretty hard to follow or understand anyone even if you knew the whole process. i dont know how often i will update this. my only goal right now is to succeed at doing my devo daily. ideally i could update everyday with every devo. that may or may not happen. my book (which i guess would be helpfull if you knew the title) includes a refletive day of rest every seventh day. should i post on these i will covor a lot. maybe? any way its nothing to concern yourself with. i only ask that you keep my encouraged through your prayers to stick to this and continue after god. comment if you like. i like. dont be afraid to talk to me. in fact i hope that maybe some one might read these and say to themselves, "i want to talk about that" please do. if you want to talk to me about any of this or anything else please do. i am here to encourage myself and others, and to be encouraged by myself and others. with all that said may god bless through this journey through

the message // remix:solo an uncommon devotional

The Experiment

inspired by sam at camp the lord led me to buy him a devotional. in the store i found this one for me. captured my mind. time to change. how will you speak to me through this? a hard translation for me to accept but this idea of lectio devina encourages me to be in gods word and to seek his voice. i am longing to hear you. to repsond to you. to live you. to be led by the spirit and to walk in your blessings. this is my repsonse. you are my provider. there will be rain if god wills. to be bold. to be purposefull. to respond to the desires of my soul. these ideas. these longings. these fears. they are yours lord. you entrust them to me. may it go well with me. may i cast my concers on you for you care for me. meet with me as i go SOLO