God Encounters

god thank you for giving me this rest today. or did i just take it? either way im grateful to slow down today and chill. and i lord i dont want to just rest. i want to rest in you. so im going to spend some time in our talks and your word and in your spirit.
passion god. i want to keep this passion for you. and to be passionate. and i will serve you. this shall be a witness god.
and god i dont want to take your credit. i want ti give it all to you. so maybe i can say thank you when im encouraged after teaching (cause im not being praised, but encouraged) and then give it back to you. to say good word god. i liked it. thank you for sharing with us. and as for my giant tasks. how i fail again! if i want healing then why did i treat my mom how i did. lord forgive me for bieing the jerk that i was friday. i dont even want to make excuses to qualify my behavior. i was rude and im sorry. so please help me to better conduct myslef and better love.
and such an experiance it has been to really read your word. to be confronted by it and to talk about it or actually i was arguing. but to come to an understanding with you. to know you more and your heart and intentions. it was a cool example to see conversation between you and your peopleand yes we act follishly but you kinda have that effect on people. so forgive me for times ive tested your word without belief that it was you. and god may you continue to work in my dad and christy. and give me words if i need them and understanding and forgiveness and love. god i just want your will here and limited resistance to it.
god the part abour samson was awesome. just to read your word. try to interpret it. ask for clarity and look to your word for understanding and then to talk to alan and jen about it the next day. that was way cool. its jsut awesome how your word is living. that at camp it said something different. but thursday your same word spoke differently. god may i keep encouraged to share your words to me with others and to conversate about it. to ask what they think. to ask what you think. i really enjoyed that and know thats how you want us to live and talk with each other.
and the story of ruth was a good one too. to see such good characters. boaz, ruth, and naomi. and how god you were in all of them. ready to serve and full of love. and just an example of how to go about business. to do it right the first time. dont cut corners. and not decieveing anyone. giving full understanding being willing in whatever happens. and just your word through it was to welcome people. so god may i be more inviting and loving towards people.
and god may i know your voice better. and to practice listening. well i guess not practice but to make it a better practice in my life. and god i do feel bad for just epicly failing last night. couldnt keep my head clear or conscious. but it happens. its the thought that counts. i do want to open my ears to you. and they are but to purpose time to just listening for you. so god i will try again.
and god ezekiel seems like it will be a fun book. i like your persistant do not be afraid and whether they listen or fail to. i just like you saying dont be concerned aside from serving me. and to see ezekials honesty is cool too. relatable i guess is why. he says he went in biutterness and with anger in his spirit. and he was overwhelmed. thats cool to see such honesty in your hand. so god continueing through this book speak to me and give me your words to share.

Deciphering Gods Voice

hearing god that clearly does seem possible to me. but thats cause its happened to me. god calling out to me. as for deciphering between god and whatever...i dont know. sometimes i just know its god. i can feel him in it. it just is sometimes. sometimes i weigh what im hearing. what it means and involves. does it benefit the kingdom and bring glory to god. is it selfish, pride, afraid, greedy, personal gain. sometimes i say god was that you, and i set an answer. sometimes a yes because... sometimes a no that wasnt me, sometimes no response. i just try and be sensative to god. i know his voice and want to be more familliar. laura and nick can be helpfull to figuring out what god is communicating to me. just by offering perspective, or imparting wisdom. encouragement. just being open and available. willing to think and talk about stuff. god i know i said times isnt an issue or factor here but im tired. i cant garauntee i wont fall asleep. but i will try my best, will leave the light on. i wont check the clock much. i will shut up and listen...after i reasd the rest of this scripture.
samuel ministered before the lord, yet he did not know the lord? and his word had not been revealed to him? ok that part could just be understanding, but how can you minister without knowing god? the term "know" was different then but still how could he minister before the lord if he hadnt been called yet?

Welcoming The Stranger

i guess im relating to ruth. not that i feel foreign or different. but like my wife died and im just living waiting for my redeemer. its somewhat of a stretch but thats what im seeing and feeling. wanting to "have a happy life" i dont see anything in the passage that really says any of them is wiser. and thast not relatable to age anyway. their nationality is different but ruth was made one of them when she had married. she became one flesh with an israelite and was seemingly accepted into their society. but to hear the term daughter is that proof. that acceptance. that respect and acknowledgment that she was welcomed among the israelites. god may be saying that i should welcome all strangers. because we really arent strangers but all part of teh saem creation. i feel like im still viewed asa a child and not a full member of society. like peopledont think im ready to live "like they do" so waht are you telling me about that god? i dont need their accpeptance because i have yours and know how you have called me to be. god you are good to all. you make provision not just for israelites, or christians or muslims. you make provision for all who would accept and im greatfull that you take care of me. thank you for caring for me. and may i work with you to love. your love has no bounds. and i want to help spread that. to love the unloved and welcome all. i like boaz. that he would allow himself to sober up and honor the "chain of command" how blessed he feels but says if to me great but there is one above me who we shall approach in accordance with the law. i like that character.
the lord be with you - response - the lord bless you
yeash boaz is a good guy. does it right. legal. in pressance of witness and in all honesty

Let Me Be Avenged

it was suicide. god gave samson strength to kill himslef. that is odd. i do have a strong desire for justice. its weird though. do i want justice for myself? i do deserve it. no i think more of my desire is for people to see and understand their actions. what thier choices communicate and how it affects what it does. gods justice was that pretty much everything deserved death. but he gives us life instead. where is the justice? thats why he gives us life. he gives us understanding of our wrongdoings and that knowledge is justice itself. and he says go now and sin no more. he wants to be avenged. for himself and his name. god destroyed the philistines and samson was his weapon. he should have cried to avenge god.
please. he is begging. please he begs. please he cries. please. his desire for revenge is so great that he is begging. i want it i want it give it to me god. why did you not address this?
gods involvement IS what stands out. samson could not have done that. he did no have his hair. that was his purpose to have that symbol of relationship to god and to crush the philistines. so even theough he turned himself in (sorta) and cost himself the connection he had. god still helped him because god you will still use us even if were telling you were not gonna do it. or not do it your way. your will will be done. and it could be at a price to us if we are not committed to your service.
samson you are a dummy head. your love wants to know how to weaken you. dont lie. you tell her no! that is a case that she does not love you so dont be with her. you see what shes going to do and you still tell her the truth. idiot. but you were tired to death. and that death is where we find our strength. when we are no more and god is for us. maybe god didnt answer the prayer so samson could kill everyone and himself. i dont see words incicating a response from god. verse 30 says he pushed with all HIS dtrength. it doesnt say the spirit of the lord came upon him because it didnt. samson lost his connection to god and acted on his own. and that is why he died. he let himself get caught and god wasnt going to rescue him for it. for he could no longer be what he was supposed to be. a nazerite. if we get rid of what sets us apart, we are no longer seperated from the world.