God Encounters

so here again i failed to be reflective in the writing sense. i do try and think about the encounters sometimes when im going to sleep instead of doing devo. but yeah its not the same. so this was last night where i just wanted to sleep. so i did. but...well whatever. god was good this week. as is evident life is crazy with work. for a couple of days we thought i was gonna give up my job at the od to take over my dads pilot shift so he could work elsewahere and i was ready to do it! well maybe i wasnt. i wanted to though and was totally scared. so after that letter i wrote iwas out working for my dad and spent an hour just praying and asking god what to do and what he syas and just yeah. i sat in silence just listening for god. then i worshipped. and nothing. no answer. untill today when i realized that was gods answer. i was freeking out and stressing over my job when i didnt need to because god knew i wasnt going to take over my dads shift. so praise to god. but its really got me thinking, what am i going to do. i need to put forth more initiative in seeking work and possible moving. and i need to trust in god more (which is hard for me) instead of demanding certainty. so that was really cool. god blessed me with this opportunity to get a few hours at a time for my dad. to make a little money to help get my car in better shape and to have the money that will help me to move if thats what happens. and my dad is totally blessed too! he has been so appreciative of me and his little bit of time off. rest for the weary, thank you god. and then church last night......i dunno. its so hard for me to focus cause its like the 3rd time im hearing the words. myself speaking or john, or whoever else happens to be speaking in the youth. so i come to @7 wanting to hear god and then i hear the same word. and i kinda feel like a know it all. but i hold out hoping that god will speak something else and i just dont know. but i do enjoy so much just sitting and being there in gods presence. but it was such a struggle last night. sitting next to...i just at times couldnt concentrate because my everything was just so excited. my heart was glad, my legs were jumping, my heart was thumping, my nouth was smiling, my eyes were delighting, just yeah everything. i was barely able to keep myself contained. i was gonna just explode out of happiness. and then were singing god be my only desire and let my heart be torn in two untill your will is my way. or wahtever and it was so hard. i want god! i wanted god! i wanted to just be screaming for him. and then theres hannah, my mind drifts, my focus wanes and...just it was hard. but anyway its jsut been a whirlwind and im trying to anchor to god. or be blown in teh direction he wants for me. so i went to bed tired, lovestruck, and dissapointed in myself. but god is just reminding me as ive been updating for what seems like forever that he just wants to talk. like let him have it. and give him the chance to respond. be ready to hear. and delight in my lord who loves me. so yeah thats that i guesss. not quite the devotional post but its good for me