Whats The Point?

"we work to feed our appetites; meanwhile our souls go hungry"
that is a true statement and i guess i relate to that. i mean more often i fulfill the desires of my flesh instead of my soul. i work so hard to obtain whatever and in the end its worthless.
can i put my time into people instead of stuff? i think i enjoy them more anyway. its not as fast satisfying but it definitely lasts longer. peaople are my inheritance. they are what i can take into heaven. not my possessions. so why do i want stuff so much. satan trying to fowl me up. lead me astray. distract me. rob the kingdom. i just need to learn how to live properly in the kingdom. what that means. what it looks like. and to want that lifestyle more.
yeah i was able to see jesus and see his case. present mine. and see his heart. he wins. i can hear his points and they are right. i wanted that so i said so. he was that friend that led me to the right end.

Giving Into Every Impulse

i have pursued my materialistic desires with hope they would being pleasure. i have pursued the pleasures of a girl (not well) i have pursued god (again not so well this week). i was attempting to get entertainment and status. wanting to fulfill my desire for companionship. wanting to see and hear god speak into my life. to enrich and encourage. to be educated. pleasure whispers in my ear that i will be happy, it will feel god.
god are these worth pursuing? that i seek after a relationship because...well..thats what my heart is wanting. like a craving my heart likes the way a relationship feels and it ttugs me in that direction. that she is beautiful and i want me eyes to behold her. that she is mysterious and my brain wants to get to know her. that something inside me said we could be something together minstrywise. i am not seeking sexual satisfaction. in fact i know i would not recieve it and that makes me glad. i want to know her. i want to spend time together. so god the pleasures i pursue on a regular basis... relationship is not one. so was it bad? maybe. youre the judge. but i do know that i allowed myself to be ruled by it for a night. i dwelt and i shouldnt have. and for it i "suffered" that night. but god i when i seek after you and allow myslef to be led in your ways that is the one true and great pleasure. my usual pursuit ok good tiems and entertainment is that "worth it", fullfilling? not really. its not the point. you are. im not fighting for my point but we know that SOMETIMES you are exalted through these pursuits. they can be good. but its you first that makes it that way. so may i pursue the pleasure that is knowing you and dwelling in your presence.

The Skeptic And The Believer

two things god. that i may speak truth, and be fed. oh that you would give me strength and wisdom to keep your love on my tongue and breath. and your words be sustenance to me. that you will keep me well fed never dishing up too much on my plate of that i would ask for more but you will feed me perfect portions. and you will not deny me say thank ya.

God Encounters

god its been a while and i dont dare look back to try and remember. but i to come to you now in reflection of what i do know. god you were so amazing at camp and i give you praise honor and glory. you just came in such awesome ways. thank you god for stopping the rain around us. for intentionally putting students on my boat. for using me to minister to an encourage and love them. i was so blessed to loving lead ryan to you. and to be a part of the baptisms. for being your mouth to those students and speaking your truth and life over them. i thank you for the work you did in students lives that brought them closer to you. and for the trust that they could ask me for parayer and encouragement. and i thank you for the opportunity to serve at the shack and to just be friendly to the students. i pray that they just saw your love and joy and life out of my willingness to crush ice and make up silly flavors. and god you are good because i know you used that to reach students. that they felt loved and accepted and welcomed. and i thank you for the words you apoke to me through chad that was so was so encouaraging for k.q. and even the word that you spoke to me to be baptized. and how you took the pain away with my mom and that you are loving and encouaraging me in restoration in family. and i was os blessed with all the days off and time to spend wioth family and to have fun. and to love and encourage my dad. god you have been so good good to me and i thank you. may we continue in this walk and learn and love and speak. thank you for your words god and for your peace and comfort. thank you for being my heavenly father. happy fathers day.