Monday, March 2, 2009

Wrestling In The Night

whats your name? my name is dusty. and what is your name? (everlasting father) why do you want to know my name? why do i? so i can know you. but cant i do that without knowing your name? surely it is possible. so i can know who seeks after me. to KNOW who cares for me. was he god? was god defeated by a man? was he an angel? perhaps. he was a man, a vessel. an instrument of god. i am jacob. making plans to the future but letting others take them while i stay back.
wanting desperately to know more of god, i think ive made that clear as my purpose. god here is my pvhj - let me not be concerned with the fact that someone reads this. i am praying to you. to talk with you, not to impress others or look good. i want to learn about you. anything. your character, plan, love, nickname, birthday, favorite song, lord i want to know you more, may you lead me to you. reveal your secrets and all your mysteries. dont allow me to look for you in only one place. everywhere i look lord show me yourself. in a bush, at work, your word. god may i be strengthened to look for you, to pray without ceasing. to be a constant offering. amen.
its scary. to desire to be: in love, a father, a student. i want it to feel right. i want to feel normal, supported
comforted
normal
supported
comforted
i rest in these

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