When Trusting God Is A Handfull

i think the emphasis that she was a widow communicates how hard her life was presantly. no man to provide for the family. she had to take care of everything. and then elijah comes along and asks that she would take care of him too. even when she has nothing. i mean this just speaks to me that i dont have it that bad. its not too much to give and its not a valid excuse when it comes to obeying god. i think he may have been a little reluctant to ask for help (and i am more!) but his obediance to god is what im trying for. the widow...i feel like i have so little. barely enough for myself. and i still resist. saying you really want that? i dont have any really. and if i use this last but im done. it is very difficult for me to give uo my last handfull. which i stupid. im just holding onto it going nowhere. if i would use it then i would have space to get more. andi would be doing something other than standing here. i think she felt sad that it was another dayto take care of elijah, JUST KIDDING! i bet everyday her hand found food she was singing praises the whole time. just so excited and amazed at gods miraculous provision. god what is my flour jar? what needs to be filled up. my bank account. i want to do so much with it but im hesitant cause theres not even enough to take care of myself. and god im trusting and faithing and loving you through this time. and god i do praise you for filling that jar. yes god thank you for teh extra hours at work. you are so good to answer those prayers. thank you. and forgive me for complaining about it. but now i see your hand and provision and am just blessed god. thank you.
wow. so the widow wasnt too sure that elijah was a "man of god" until her son was raised. the flour and oil that did not end wasnt enough proof? i am like that though. see gods hand still kinda doubt. i dont want that. i just want to have faith and not doubt. putting his head between his knees. i bet he was exhausted and just humbled by god. just to sit in his glory.