Let Me Be Avenged

it was suicide. god gave samson strength to kill himslef. that is odd. i do have a strong desire for justice. its weird though. do i want justice for myself? i do deserve it. no i think more of my desire is for people to see and understand their actions. what thier choices communicate and how it affects what it does. gods justice was that pretty much everything deserved death. but he gives us life instead. where is the justice? thats why he gives us life. he gives us understanding of our wrongdoings and that knowledge is justice itself. and he says go now and sin no more. he wants to be avenged. for himself and his name. god destroyed the philistines and samson was his weapon. he should have cried to avenge god.
please. he is begging. please he begs. please he cries. please. his desire for revenge is so great that he is begging. i want it i want it give it to me god. why did you not address this?
gods involvement IS what stands out. samson could not have done that. he did no have his hair. that was his purpose to have that symbol of relationship to god and to crush the philistines. so even theough he turned himself in (sorta) and cost himself the connection he had. god still helped him because god you will still use us even if were telling you were not gonna do it. or not do it your way. your will will be done. and it could be at a price to us if we are not committed to your service.
samson you are a dummy head. your love wants to know how to weaken you. dont lie. you tell her no! that is a case that she does not love you so dont be with her. you see what shes going to do and you still tell her the truth. idiot. but you were tired to death. and that death is where we find our strength. when we are no more and god is for us. maybe god didnt answer the prayer so samson could kill everyone and himself. i dont see words incicating a response from god. verse 30 says he pushed with all HIS dtrength. it doesnt say the spirit of the lord came upon him because it didnt. samson lost his connection to god and acted on his own. and that is why he died. he let himself get caught and god wasnt going to rescue him for it. for he could no longer be what he was supposed to be. a nazerite. if we get rid of what sets us apart, we are no longer seperated from the world.