Pain, Disappointment, And Heartbreak

my response to heartbreak? depression. although heartbreak is being used differently here than my general understanding of the word. so i guess contextually my response would be sorrowfull, yet joyous, and definitely confused. i dont know how to deal with this and that would be noticable. i would think davids response is healthy. of coarse who decides what is or isnt healthy. but yeah to be so stricken with the deat of his father and brother. in his grief he is expressing his honor. and its big for him to react like this when the throne is now his and the one who tried to keep it from him is dead. to exercise that kind of forgiveness is definitely healthy.
oh god your rebelious people have fallen. we have been captured by those who came against us. in foreign land i reside. amongst fear and anger, and an unjust ruler. i am treated mercilessly, addressed with contempt, and restrained by lies. but god you have promised deliverance. and it is to that i am reaching for. that your favor will once again dwell in this house. lord i will honor you and through that day. your servant will not hide. and will not be still. i shall not sit idly and be governed by false rulers. no god in captivity i will fight for your name. there is no call to surrender here but a call to arms. dark days shall be overthrown by your light.
did the amelkite really finish off saul? and why did david have him put to death? if saul was already dying (by his own sword) he was easing the pain for him, helping him. but he said saul was leaning on his spear. impaled? staggering? i dont know which. but does it count as killing the lords annointed? he asked him to. saul thought it better then dying by the philistines hands. but i think david was just mad that hise dad died and wanted somebody to be responsable and punished. he loved him so much that he couldnt let him not be avenged. even though it wasnt a death deserving vengeance.