Gods Silence

sure ive felt like gods been "inaccessible" but that doesnt stand out to me here. nor am i shocked or irritated by gods silence. because while i can try to embrace all the fury, fear, and confusion job exhibits, it cant change the way my mind processes it. just like when im personally upset with god and he does nothing. im not shocked. my brain tells me im not the first person to go through that. my limited knowledge of history tells me how quite god can be. especially during tragedy. so quite that when his son bears sin he cant speal or grunt. all he does is shut his eyes so he doesnt see it. when perfection is rendered not there is no shame, there is no joy, god just sits quitely. so how could i expect that myself or job am more important that god will always speak his words when we need to hear them. gods silence is not bad. it is not good. it is god and i can accept that. i dont want to tell god how to be god. say what i want to hear. give what i want. take what i need. i will sometimes feel anguish and pain, but god will always be love.